A Year in Quotes:  Quotes of the Week from January to December

(Quotes of the Month are italicized)


“I dress to avoid nakedness and you should all be pleased.”

                                                - Tom Tidwell (1/29/03)




“If you’re going to leave early, leave at 3:00, not 4:30.  That way, they’d think you’re going to a meeting.”

                                                - Jerry Bewley (2/3/03)

on evading “The Man” in the ‘80s




“We asked for a lot, and then we got kicked in the (blank) repeatedly.”

- Greg Wellman (2/6/03)

on negotiating




“I’m going into ball mode.”

- Dave Schubert (2/17/03)

on navigating through his computer



“Do you have any rudimentary first aid supplies?”

                                                - Greg Wellman (date unknown)

while tending to an injury in Hawaii




“He has cleverly maintained incompetence in the area of column inspection.”

                                                - Joe Parker (2/25/03)

                                                on Bob Kline’s skill set




“I had to pick up the slack and the slack slapped me around a little bit.”

                                                - Kevin Heindselman (3/18/03)

on indoor soccer and his team’s string of injuries




“Growth?  Wes ate paint chips as a kid.  What does he know about growth?”

                                                - Terry Bledsoe (date unknown)

commenting on Wes Moyer after an EDS




“Know what we are?  We’re a big tease.”

-          Greg Wellman

“Well, I was thinking we’re Lucy and they’re Charlie Brown.”

                                                - Bob Kline (date unknown)

An excerpt from a conversation about Eastman backing out of deals with a particular client.




“I’m going to beat the QUAC out of you.”

                                                - Bob Kline (4/7/03)

trying to correct another engineer’s improper acronym usage (UNIFAC v. UNIQUAC) with threats of violence




“I like my thumb.  How about you?”

                                                - Wes Moyer (4/16/03)

while discussing the virtues of estimation v. complex calculation




“Plus, she got to hang out with me and, really, that’s priceless.”

                                                - Kevin Heindselman (4/28/03)

on the benefit his wife (then girlfriend) received by bringing him lunch




“What’s a Derby Pie?  Is that what the horses leave on the track?”

                                                - Mike Maness (4/29/03)

questioning the official dessert of the Kentucky Derby




“That’s like saying I’d rather eat poop than cake.”

                                                - Bob Kline (4/30/03)

on choosing to eat Japanese food over Chinese food




“I work cheaply, as is reflected in the quality of my work.”

                                                - Doug Christian (5/15/03)




“I hate to dump my wife everyday the kids are out of town for something better to do.”

                                                - Anonymous (5/21/03)

on spending time with his wife




“Two words: paint ball.”

                                                - Greg Wellman (5/29/03)

recommending ways to get even with neighbors that have wronged you




“Apparently, feeling the hate makes me funnier.”

- Greg Wellman (6/5/03)

offering a theory as to why he’s been on the quote board so much recently




“As long as I am not dealing with relationships, logic works pretty good.”

- Dave Schubert

“So, does that mean you have no idea what April (Schubert, Dave’s wife) wants?”

- Bob Kline

“Only that she wants my body.”

- Dave Schubert (6/9/03)

Once again, Dave shows he has much to learn.




“I paid my wife to marry me, and I’m still paying for it everyday.”

                                                - Mike Maness (6/10/03)

on the “joys” of marriage




“I guess that would make him ‘Little Willie.’”

- Wes Moyer (6/24/03)

after contemplating Dave’s namesake (William David Schubert)




“If they want to dress dogs up in dresses and take them out on a date, that’s fine with me.”

                                                - Bob Kline (6/26/03)

with commentary on personal preferences outside the workplace




“That’s why I’m glad I’m married to a woman.”

                                                - Wes Moyer (7/8/03)




“Fury is my coffee this morning.”

                                                - Kevin Heindselman (7/28/03)




“I didn’t say anything mean.  I just called him Cakeman.”

                                                - Jerry Bewley (7/30/03)

trying to downplay his new nickname for Greg Wellman




“No, I’m the Diet Cherry Coke of Evil, thank you very much.”

                                                - Greg Wellman (8/11/03)

modifying a quote from “Austin Powers” to describe his level of evil

“Is anyone else’s Internet slow today?”

                                                - Terry Bledsoe (8/15/03)

after overhearing people talk about not being allowed to access the computer network




“[big project]’s going to go!  We’re going streaking!”

                                                - Greg Wellman (8/28/03)

expressing his joy due to the launch of a large engineering project




“Finding a good quote is like your dog eating a diamond.  You spend your time trying to find a gem amongst all the crap.”

                                                - Kevin Heindselman (9/12/03)




“Nothing good comes out of Arkansas.”

                                                - Dave Schubert (9/16/03)

joking about his wife (April Schubert), and in the meantime, giving us a classic example of a sweeping generalization



“I’ve been trying to see Mike (Maness) in a loin cloth for seven years.”

                                                - Jennifer Mize (9/19/03)

talking about why she selected Mike’s role for a Murder Mystery dinner party




“Birthday germs are good luck.”

                                                - Kevin Heindselman (10/9/03)

commenting on the passing of germs along with the passing of birthday cake




“If you put a hat on her, she’d look like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

                                                - Casey Henry (10/14/03)

commenting to Chad Marlow about a picture of Chad’s daughter hanging in Chad’s office




“Wes’s machine is the syphilis of the Aspen world.”

                                                - Bob Kline (10/24/03)

commenting on the frequency of model corruption on Wes Moyer’s computer

“Go get filled with the Spirit and then get filled with spirits.”

                                                - Mike Maness (10/30/03)

talking about the idea of going out drinking after going to Bible study




“When I eat veal, I want that cow to have not moved its entire life.”

                                                - Bob Kline (11/12/03)




“Yeah, I need to sound like I look good.”

                                                - Mike Maness (11/17/03)

after being asked if he was dressed up for a phone interview




“It’s like I’m in a giant bubble of hatred and apathy and nothing can penetrate it, expect for one thing: cake.”

                                                - Bob Kline (11/24/03)




"To coincide with FPD, it will be Hawaiian Shirt Day.  If you don't have a Hawaiian shirt, feel free to wear a fish shirt or something random."

- Dave Schubert

"Dave, you are just one or two well-placed words away from making FPD a clothing-optional event."

- Joe Parker (12/8/03)