A Year in Quotes:  Quotes of the Week from January to December

(Quotes of the Month are italicized)

 

“I dress to avoid nakedness and you should all be pleased.”

                                                - Tom Tidwell (1/29/03)

 

 

 

“If you’re going to leave early, leave at 3:00, not 4:30.  That way, they’d think you’re going to a meeting.”

                                                - Jerry Bewley (2/3/03)

on evading “The Man” in the ‘80s

 

 

 

“We asked for a lot, and then we got kicked in the (blank) repeatedly.”

- Greg Wellman (2/6/03)

on negotiating

 

 

 

“I’m going into ball mode.”

- Dave Schubert (2/17/03)

on navigating through his computer

 

 


“Do you have any rudimentary first aid supplies?”

                                                - Greg Wellman (date unknown)

while tending to an injury in Hawaii

 

 

 

“He has cleverly maintained incompetence in the area of column inspection.”

                                                - Joe Parker (2/25/03)

                                                on Bob Kline’s skill set

 

 

 

“I had to pick up the slack and the slack slapped me around a little bit.”

                                                - Kevin Heindselman (3/18/03)

on indoor soccer and his team’s string of injuries

 

 

 

“Growth?  Wes ate paint chips as a kid.  What does he know about growth?”

                                                - Terry Bledsoe (date unknown)

commenting on Wes Moyer after an EDS

 

 

 


“Know what we are?  We’re a big tease.”

-          Greg Wellman

“Well, I was thinking we’re Lucy and they’re Charlie Brown.”

                                                - Bob Kline (date unknown)

An excerpt from a conversation about Eastman backing out of deals with a particular client.

 

 

 

“I’m going to beat the QUAC out of you.”

                                                - Bob Kline (4/7/03)

trying to correct another engineer’s improper acronym usage (UNIFAC v. UNIQUAC) with threats of violence

 

 

 

“I like my thumb.  How about you?”

                                                - Wes Moyer (4/16/03)

while discussing the virtues of estimation v. complex calculation

 

 

 


“Plus, she got to hang out with me and, really, that’s priceless.”

                                                - Kevin Heindselman (4/28/03)

on the benefit his wife (then girlfriend) received by bringing him lunch

 

 

 

“What’s a Derby Pie?  Is that what the horses leave on the track?”

                                                - Mike Maness (4/29/03)

questioning the official dessert of the Kentucky Derby

 

 

 

“That’s like saying I’d rather eat poop than cake.”

                                                - Bob Kline (4/30/03)

on choosing to eat Japanese food over Chinese food

 

 

 

“I work cheaply, as is reflected in the quality of my work.”

                                                - Doug Christian (5/15/03)

 

 

 


“I hate to dump my wife everyday the kids are out of town for something better to do.”

                                                - Anonymous (5/21/03)

on spending time with his wife

 

 

 

“Two words: paint ball.”

                                                - Greg Wellman (5/29/03)

recommending ways to get even with neighbors that have wronged you

 

 

 

“Apparently, feeling the hate makes me funnier.”

- Greg Wellman (6/5/03)

offering a theory as to why he’s been on the quote board so much recently

 

 

 


“As long as I am not dealing with relationships, logic works pretty good.”

- Dave Schubert

“So, does that mean you have no idea what April (Schubert, Dave’s wife) wants?”

- Bob Kline

“Only that she wants my body.”

- Dave Schubert (6/9/03)

Once again, Dave shows he has much to learn.

 

 

 

“I paid my wife to marry me, and I’m still paying for it everyday.”

                                                - Mike Maness (6/10/03)

on the “joys” of marriage

 

 

 

“I guess that would make him ‘Little Willie.’”

- Wes Moyer (6/24/03)

after contemplating Dave’s namesake (William David Schubert)

 

 

 


“If they want to dress dogs up in dresses and take them out on a date, that’s fine with me.”

                                                - Bob Kline (6/26/03)

with commentary on personal preferences outside the workplace

 

 

 

“That’s why I’m glad I’m married to a woman.”

                                                - Wes Moyer (7/8/03)

 

 

 

“Fury is my coffee this morning.”

                                                - Kevin Heindselman (7/28/03)

 

 

 

“I didn’t say anything mean.  I just called him Cakeman.”

                                                - Jerry Bewley (7/30/03)

trying to downplay his new nickname for Greg Wellman

 

 

 

“No, I’m the Diet Cherry Coke of Evil, thank you very much.”

                                                - Greg Wellman (8/11/03)

modifying a quote from “Austin Powers” to describe his level of evil


“Is anyone else’s Internet slow today?”

                                                - Terry Bledsoe (8/15/03)

after overhearing people talk about not being allowed to access the computer network

 

 

 

“[big project]’s going to go!  We’re going streaking!”

                                                - Greg Wellman (8/28/03)

expressing his joy due to the launch of a large engineering project

 

 

 

“Finding a good quote is like your dog eating a diamond.  You spend your time trying to find a gem amongst all the crap.”

                                                - Kevin Heindselman (9/12/03)

 

 

 

“Nothing good comes out of Arkansas.”

                                                - Dave Schubert (9/16/03)

joking about his wife (April Schubert), and in the meantime, giving us a classic example of a sweeping generalization

 

 


“I’ve been trying to see Mike (Maness) in a loin cloth for seven years.”

                                                - Jennifer Mize (9/19/03)

talking about why she selected Mike’s role for a Murder Mystery dinner party

 

 

 

“Birthday germs are good luck.”

                                                - Kevin Heindselman (10/9/03)

commenting on the passing of germs along with the passing of birthday cake

 

 

 

“If you put a hat on her, she’d look like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

                                                - Casey Henry (10/14/03)

commenting to Chad Marlow about a picture of Chad’s daughter hanging in Chad’s office

 

 

 

“Wes’s machine is the syphilis of the Aspen world.”

                                                - Bob Kline (10/24/03)

commenting on the frequency of model corruption on Wes Moyer’s computer


“Go get filled with the Spirit and then get filled with spirits.”

                                                - Mike Maness (10/30/03)

talking about the idea of going out drinking after going to Bible study

 

 

 

“When I eat veal, I want that cow to have not moved its entire life.”

                                                - Bob Kline (11/12/03)

 

 

 

“Yeah, I need to sound like I look good.”

                                                - Mike Maness (11/17/03)

after being asked if he was dressed up for a phone interview

 

 

 

“It’s like I’m in a giant bubble of hatred and apathy and nothing can penetrate it, expect for one thing: cake.”

                                                - Bob Kline (11/24/03)

 

 

 


"To coincide with FPD, it will be Hawaiian Shirt Day.  If you don't have a Hawaiian shirt, feel free to wear a fish shirt or something random."

- Dave Schubert

"Dave, you are just one or two well-placed words away from making FPD a clothing-optional event."

- Joe Parker (12/8/03)